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Most of us spend our days busy, knuckled down to work and home routines, not allowing headspace or time for the hints of thoughts about doing something different or making some kind of change in our lives. It’s only when we’re fed up or worn out that we allow those hints to creep into empty wishes, which we entertain for a few “if only” sighs, before pushing them aside – because they have no place in real life, which we’ve learnt needs hard work and consistency to be able to maintain the levels of comfort and security we’ve managed to achieve.

I was a diligent stay-at-home mum (SAHM, to use the acronym battered about both proudly and disdainfully online), having paused my digital marketing career a couple of years ago to look after our daughter full-time, as well as to cook, clean and do the laundry, in order to maximise quality family time in the limited hours my husband spent out of the office. I felt privileged to have the opportunity to be a SAHM, but also slightly wistful about holding down a career with different challenges and successes (let alone contributing positively to the bank balance). At the back of my mind, when it wasn’t too shattered to contain more than one thought, was a challenge to myself to think of something to do – to find some silver bullet that would give me the ability to continue looking after our little one day to day, along with a non-housework related appointment to balance out my life a little.

While I was missing out on a sense of accomplishment, my husband was missing out on moments, milestones, and time with our daughter. We lived a good and happy life, and we appreciated it. But regular visitors in lazy Sunday morning conversations were “what if” wonders – what if we took a year out of the rat race to spend time and travel together as a family, and ultimately steer our lives onto a new course? For so long this was a crazy idea and we easily found reasons why not to – until one day we sensed that we might be giving up more by not giving it a go. So we ground our way through the stresses and strains that come with packing up a comfortable life, rented our flat out, and bought flights to Bangkok.

With our home boxed up, goodbyes bid to family and friends, and leaving life as we knew it behind, I felt mildly nauseous when we boarded that plane, with overstuffed suitcases holding everything I thought we might need for our not-quite-two-year-old for the foreseeable future. But even writing this now, nine months on, I find it hard to remember all the exact fears and trepidation I’d had before landing in a new and somewhat nomadic life.

Along the way I documented our journey on a personal travel blog, www.veganfamilyventures.com and, as friends and family expressed enjoyment in reading my posts, and I relished writing them, I stumbled upon a bit of a lightbulb moment. I’d always loved writing, and always been good at it – but it was just something I did while doing other things, like assignments, presentations, marketing, and helping out colleagues or family. Why I’d never thought about being a writer, I have no idea. We tend to be somewhat blind to common sense about our aptitudes and inclinations, and the opportunities they afford, when living a busy life full of schedules and routine. So, somewhere between Cambodia and Vietnam, I decided to put my skills and passion to good use and embark on a freelance writing career. (It means I don’t have to give up being a SAHM, and I get to take on different challenges, requiring forms of creativity and strategic thinking other than those used for getting veggies into a dubious toddler or toilet training.)

During the process of making these sizeable changes in my life, I’ve identified a few things that make the difference between sticking with life as it is or acting on your ideas for change and having a go at re-shaping it:

1. Stop thinking other people are luckier than you

“I’m a great believer in luck. I’ve found that the harder I work, the more I have of it.” – Thomas Jefferson.

There will always be people more fortunate than you, (but don’t forget there will always be people less fortunate too). It’s easy to look at other people’s careers, achievements and situations and think they’re lucky. Firstly, you won’t know everything that came before in their lives, lucky or otherwise, straightforward or stressful. And, secondly, so what? It’s a fact of life that sometimes people have more luck than others. But this has no bearing in reality on your life.

It’s actually only the headspace you give to thoughts of others’ luck that might have an impact on you. It closes you off to the idea of making a change or taking a risk in your own life, by linking the outcome of this with something as intangible as luck, rather than to circumstances within your control.

Everyone has different strengths and experiences, and without there being space at the top of the bellcurve for all of us when it comes to any skill or achievement, there will always be someone more accomplished, more effective, more wise, and more rich than you. Whether luck, hard work, or bravery played the biggest role in enabling them to do something you admire or wish you could do is irrelevant. You have your own set of experiences, skills, and privileges, and the only way to make the most of these is to compare yourself to the person you were yesterday, rather than to someone else. Spending time thinking how lucky other people are is a cop-out that prevents you from maximising your strengths, prospering from your situation, and creating luck of your own.

I’m not such an optimist that I believe absolutely anything is possible for anybody. But whether different things are possible or easier for others than they are for you is largely irrelevant. While you’re focusing on the situation that enabled others to do something admirable with their lives, someone else is looking greenly at you in your life. Focus on your own skills, ideas, and situation, and then be brave, work hard, face stress head-on, and make changes or take risks in your life that will open up opportunities for you to be lucky.

2. Note that there’s a risk on both sides

“Our lives are defined by opportunities, even the ones we miss.” – F. Scott Fitzgerald

It’s easy to identify the risks of making a big change. When we’ve worked hard to get our ducks in a row and don’t have serious concerns with how our day to day lives function and the future they lead to, we feel comfortable. When this order is threatened, we feel uneasy. We’re also wired to focus more on what we have to lose than what we have to gain, especially if the gain is unquantifiable. And it’s scary to leave the security of the known for the unfamiliar and unknown, which may or may not be better.

But, other than the fact that no one knows what the future will hold and that change could be imposed on you and disrupt your life anyway, actively deciding to make a change will open up opportunities you cannot envisage until your situation – and sometimes you – have been altered. Doing something different and pushing yourself out of your comfort zone not only gives you a different perspective that may bring about realisations or get the creative juices flowing, but also exposes you to different people, different experiences, and different problems to be solved. All of these occurrences can then unveil possibilities you’d otherwise have been unaware of. So, there’s risk in not making the change – in not opening yourself up to unknown opportunities.

As we can’t accurately predict the cost of inaction because the result of action is largely not known, it can be difficult to use logic and reasoning to assess life-changing decisions. So the most sensible course of action is to listen to your own reasons not to do something, assess whether the risks are valid, and acknowledge that dwelling on these can prevent you from unleashing opportunity. Then trust your gut (without letting fear of the unknown obscure what it is your gut is actually telling you).

3. Just do it

“If we wait until we’re ready we’ll be waiting for the rest of our lives” – Lemony Snicket

Once you’ve had the idea, are prepared to put your strengths to good use, work hard and accept stress, and are willing to trust your instincts, you’ve just got to go for it.

Plan and prepare, but don’t procrastinate and put off. Don’t expect to feel ready for change, or your dreams and ideas will remain just that. At some point you just have to breath in deeply and take the plunge.